Words for Wellness 2 - How your emotions shape your reality
The person who learns to get curious, explore, listen to and learn from their emotions and feelings will ultimately be the person who is happiest.
There’s one thing that BIG life events give us, they give us a big shake up and an opportunity to stop and reflect on what is happening and the things which really matter.
How often do we move through life without stopping to think how much our emotions are the starting point of so much of what we experience?
🔥🔥 Note to self - emotions are the triggers for the actions we take and the thoughts we think.
And inevitably they contribute to our well-being, or as the case may be they limit and impact our well-being.
Image credit: Tengyart on Unsplash
I believe everything has a place in our lives - the things we experience, the outcomes we achieve, and the strength and resilience we develop as a result. It’s all part of being human.
And it goes without saying that we will always keep attracting the same lessons until we learn what we need from them. Yet it’s hard to know this when so much of what we do and think is buried in our subconscious.
I’m guessing that none of us consciously choose to feel miserable, sick or alone, or any of the myriad of emotions and feelings we experience.
Maybe our lessons are in accepting that we don’t always need to be perfect, and we don’t need to rescue others from their actions and behaviours, nor do we have to continue living with toxic people and situations (okay so maybe they’re my lessons, but you get what I mean)
Let’s first get clear on how how emotions, thoughts, feelings and beliefs all contribute to the life we’re living or hiding from.
Emotions come first - chemicals are released in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger. It’s an event, experience or happening which triggers an emotion - fear, joy, anger, happiness - someone scares you, someone says something, something happens.
Feelings come next as the emotion chemicals go to work in our bodies. Feelings happen as we begin to integrate the emotion, to think about it, to ‘let it soak in’. We use ‘feel’ for both physical and emotional sensation.
Thoughts are based on our perspective of that event or happening and are influenced by our beliefs and past experiences. Have we experienced this event or happening before, is this emotion familiar.
Beliefs are an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially without trust, faith or confidence in someone or something. Often the facts are clouded by what we have previously lived or experienced.
Moods develop from a collection of feelings which are more generalised and not tied to any one specific incident. Moods can last minutes, hours, even days and weeks.
And for those of you who love pictures (below is an image I use in my wellness workshops - and while the image is mine, it originated from notes taken in a coaching workshop)
It shows how important our thoughts and perceptions of experiences and events will ultimately affect our present and future moments.
✏️ Journaling Practice
Consider a strong emotion that you might have experienced recently - anger, fear, guilt, sorrow, despair, frustration. Also consider emotions of gratitude, happiness, joy, exhilaration which are equally as important to feel into and understand.
Don’t overthink this - you’ll know the right emotion to use for this exercise by how you feel when you think about it.
Start with exploring where you were when you experienced this emotion - what were you doing, who were you with and anything else that might have been a part of triggering this emotion.
💖 Write about what the emotion is and how it makes you feel - sit with this emotion without fear or judgement, without giving it meaning. Take time to explore this emotion, is there something else beneath the surface.
Example: you might explore the emotion of sadness and then find beneath the sadness is greater emotion of disappointment.
🔥 Where in your body does this emotion live and what physical response do you experience?
Example: Do you feel the heat rising up through your chest, or a tremor in your hands, perhaps you feel frozen in place and your feet won’t move, or a sick, churning feeling in your belly.
🛑 Give your emotion a shape and a colour to describe it.
Example: Your anger might be a fiery red colour and make you feel uncomfortable and prickly. Joy might be a bright yellow, shaped more like a cloud, and you feel soft and light.
🌈 What one word sums up what is causing you to feel this way? Free write through the emotion with the information you’ve explored above. What lessons are there in exploring your emotions, feelings and subsequent thoughts.
Example: Exhausted might be the word for frustration you feel, or Elation for the joy you feel when conquering a fear.
Be sure to ask lots of questions of your emotions and feelings, get curious about them. Make friends with your emotions instead of ignoring them, listen to what they have to say.
There is nothing to fear from our feelings and emotions, they are simply data communicating a need to us.
When we get comfortable and curious with our emotions, we build emotional strength and find improved ways of developing our growth mindset.
💎 Wordweaver
JOY CHOSE YOU
Joy does not arrive with a fanfare,
on a red carpet strewn with the flowers of a perfect life.
Joy sneaks in, as you pour a cup of coffee,
watching the sun hit your favourite tree, just right.
And you usher joy away,
because you are not ready for it.
Your house is not as it must be,
for such a distinguished guest.
But joy cares nothing for your messy home,
or your bank-balance,
or your waistline, you see.
Joy is supposed to slither through the cracks of your imperfect life,
that’s how joy works.
You cannot truly invite her, you can only be ready when she appears.
And hug her with meaning,
because in this very moment,
joy chose you.
Donna Ashworth
WILD HOPE: healing words to find light on dark days ♥️ https://amzn.eu/d/eDGFsCs
🍀 What I’m exploring this week…
Book: Living Inside Out and Outside In by Sheri Perl.
Online Course: Remove Blocks to Psychic Power with Past Life Therapy by Sal Jade on Udemy
On Substack: The Writing Shed with Linda Parkinson- Hardman
🔥 Your Call to Action:
Emotions are only useful if you take considered action based on facts. Based on the journaling exercise above ask yourself
- Is this emotion warranted?
- Are my thoughts and feelings based on facts?
- Is there an action I can take right now to change my perspective and make a positive difference to how I might experience this emotion in the future”
Use all your resources - people, actions, conversations, support whatever helps you to create an improved reaction or response.
This is not about pushing down your emotions or ignoring them, it’s about sitting with the emotions and understanding why you feel the way you do and finding better ways to process events and happenings.
Keep smiling, Fi 🌻
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